1. Your housemates love and hate you because you wake up before anyone else does and you go to sleep after they do. At all hours you are singing “Getting Married in the Morning” from My Fair Lady.
2. You’re known at your local coffee shop as “the tea drinker” because you’re already perky enough.
3. When you go shopping you rarely use change rooms. Instead you take off your clothes in the middle of the store because getting naked in front of other people is no big deal.
4. All your clothes are black.
5. While waiting in line at the supermarket or post office or bank, you’ve been known to spontaneously break into song and dance. Your friends no longer join you on “life admin” days due to embarrassment.
6. Your past five relationships have all been with other theatre majors because no one else could possibly understand you.
7. When people ask what your backup plan is you tell them probably a psychologist because you are an expert on the human condition.
8. You never join your friends on holidays because you never have any money. Whatever money you do have is spent on theatre shows.
9. You hold your phone to your face when walking around the street so people think you are having a conversation when in reality you are talking to yourself out loud memorising a new script.
10. You justify axe-throwing classes, juggling, tightrope walking and unicycle classes because they are tax write-offs and because you convince yourself they will look good on your resume.
11. You spend several hours a week looking at job websites fantasising about working full time and becoming a weekend warrior.
12. You spend all the other hours of the week smiling to yourself because you’re doing exactly what you want to be doing and you wouldn’t have it any other way.
13. You spend your time on public transport searching Google for the latest ways to warm up your voice so you can appear talented, unique and different at auditions.
14. You and your friends go to bars you have never been to and dress up in clothes you don’t own so you can try out new accents and method act your dream roles. There was one night that you were French for 12 hours straight. You told people your name was Amelie, and that became the true version of yourself.
15. You’re constantly making new friends because you love life and the theatre of life but you also love networking and are very, very good at it.
16. If you are not living in America, you spent all your money on a ticket to go there and the only place you went was New York City because you wanted to go see three shows on Broadway. You flew home four days later.
17. You say, “BROADWAY” instead of CHEESE when someone takes your photo.
18. You narrate your own life in third person and in song when performing menial tasks, such as laundry runs or dishwashing.
19. You know how to take the perfect selfie because you spend more time making faces in front of the mirror than anyone you know.
20. You used to sell tickets to your family and hold monthly shows at your home as a child performing updated versions to The Sound of Music.
21. You had many imaginary friends as a child who used to sing and act around the monologues you came up with… and you still do.
22. You moved into your first shared house and the only books you brought were Shakespeare’s complete works.
23. You throw the best parties because you know how to party and love being around people. In fact, people often pay you to host their parties and you spend the money on more theatre productions rather than, you know, food.
24. You and your friends spend afternoons at the mall filming each other fake slapping one another because you’re incredibly talented at it and you know how to have fun.
25. You hang around the back doors of theatre’s hoping the lead actors will discover you and give you your big break.
26. You work as an usher.
27. When people ask what you do you begin performing a monologue and you don’t stop until they guess.
28. You tell your friends to “break a leg” when they tell you they are in a new relationship or moving overseas.
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